no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
