u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
