If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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