4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
