$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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