winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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