i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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