Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
