I seem to have left my pride at pride
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He shit in the fireplace
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
