My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
