Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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