Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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