Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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