i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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