Duck Duck Cougar?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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