I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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