do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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