Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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