How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a little drunk in my system
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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