Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
