I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I have fence marks all over my body
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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