so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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