I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
