She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The uberlube is also flammable
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
