so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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