Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
