I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
