Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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