Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize