Can Purell be used as lube?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
