the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
