how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
