drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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