my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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