Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I don`t remember Saturday, actually

(1-604): View more from British Columbia

Its ok, i dont remember 2007

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(214): View more from Texas

Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams

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(818): View more from California

Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.

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(813): View more from Florida

Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.

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