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• (916): View more from California

  Hey you

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....

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• (510): View more from California

  At what point did I eat out of your mouth?

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• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (650): View more from California

  after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  This is why we're friends.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux

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