hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover