idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize