I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.