I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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