he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
