We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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