Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
