they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
