hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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