Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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