for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
