singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
