maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
