I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
