If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
