Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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