forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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