we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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