i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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