im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
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I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
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the liver wants what the liver wants
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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