is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
