omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
