he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
How does one acquire holy water?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
