i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
