and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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