Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
