i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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