12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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