Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
