she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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