is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize