You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
