we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
