umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
