Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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