My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
