so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize