I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
