the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have already put on my inside pants.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
