He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
home. puking in laundry basket.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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