did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think i got beer on your cat.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
